One day at a time . The truth is that I thought that I could do it all by myself . The shame, the pain, the disaster that I had created was my life. No hope, no life . I had a problem and his name was me.
— We (pen name)
I was severely addicted to drugs since the age of 15. I’ve been clean for 20 years now!
I went from a $500+ a day habit, to quitting cold turkey!
First I put my baby son before my own wants & needs; and most importantly I allowed my Higher Power-God, into my heart and life!
It took the brink of death, for me to realize I did have something to live for- others!
But I believe that if I could stop and change my own life around, from the living hell I existed in, then anyone can.
Move away, start fresh, allow your own Higher Power into your life! I have faith in you!!!
Allow your heart to guide you! When you learn to live again, you will soon see-that life is truly Worth living!!!
- Submitted By KAN
I’ve overcome sexual abuse by my father, forced prostitution, drug abuse; and severe depression! Now I’m working with a disability situation while raising my 2 nieces to stop the cycle of abuse!
-Anonymous…. [Person's name intentionally kept confidential - this will only be changed if specifically requested by the person contributing the story. I strongly urge anonymity]
Don't get stuck in a bottle...
It continues to amaze me, some times even daily…, this lack of knowledge and ignorance that people – in general, have.
Then again, I read *somewhere* that 58 % (per cent) of American adults never read a book after high school, and that 70 % (per cent) haven’t been in a book store. And if those figures are transferable to the entire world, it’s not just sad. It’s downright tragic!
Education is important. Knowledge is power!
So I guess that give’s you one part of the explanation as to why I am continuously amazed – some times even daily, about the lack of knowledge and ignorance amongst people in general, particularly when the addiction disease is the topic of a discussion…
There are mainly two aspects of the addiction disease most people don’t understand, or are fully able to comprehend – at all…
The first is that addiction is a disease – and that it’s completely comparable with for instance allergy.
Side note – Questions:
You wouldnʼt give an apple to someone whoʼs allergic to apples – and would die of eating it, now would you?!
So why do you continue to offer alcohol – or any other drug, to an addict?!
Besides from the undisputed fact that the addiction disease is a deadly disease, it is also a two-parted disease;
First: You got the mental part of the disease, or as I prefer to call it: The mental insanity side of the disease.
The part that has complete control over your mind, your thoughts, your good and bad behaviour, your full subconscious inner-self.
The part that subconsciously and constantly speculates, calculates, make plans, comes up with new, plausible and not so plausible explanations, bad, poor and flimsy excuses, so that consumption can continue in loneliness with “somewhat” peace of mind…
Secondly: You got the physical part of the disease.
The part the controls your body, how it physically works and functions.
The part that – even though your addiction disease abuse might have caused various, numerous, life-threatening and life-challenging damages on your body and its organs, makes it ache and crave for more. Much more…
Whether you are addicted to alcohol, drugs, pills, a combined abuser (a+d+p), sex, shopping, gambling, training, work – you name it, ALL variations of an addiction disease has one main common denominator that lies as “the root” of it all – to call it that.
Since we are all cultural diversified individuals and live cultural diversified life’s, each addiction disease variation spreads out from this core root and leads to numerous and various results, diversified and different subsequent consequences.
Picture or visualize it like this:
The addiction disease is like the root of a tree, and each addiction variation of the disease is like the branches that grows and spreads out from the tree’s trunk.
If you look close enough, they all “look” quite differently, they all “grows” quite differently, they all “spreads out” quite differently, they all “behave” quite differently and the “final results” are quite, quite differently.
I am a recovering alcoholic, 41 years of age and I had a 22 year long addiction abuse “career” before I hit my rock bottom. During this period of time I have abused alcohol, drugs, pills and I have combined all mentioned in multiple combination, but my main addiction has always been alcohol. That’s what started it all…
I have been through a six week “life-style-changing” treatment program, and I have been provided with the right and proper tools to live a sober life. I have, among many, many other major, important and life changing discoveries, gotten a better understanding of my addiction disease.
I remember that, four weeks into this program, a female (alcohol addict) participant received a written invitation from some family members or close friends, for an upcoming wedding or big birthday party that – among many quite sensational and remarkable things said: “… You can drink red wine, now that you been through this 6 week alcoholic treatment program now can’t you???” … (I am NOT kidding!)
I mean – seriously! Come on!
It does make you wonder if this person actually thought and believed that this was a 6 week learn-how-to-drink program…
It also makes you wonder what “lack-of-knowledge” or plain, downright stupid and ignorant “life-bubble” some people actually live in…
I don’t hold it against them. I have learned not to. Because they do not know. They are uninformed, uneducated and ignorant individuals.
If you don’t have an open and unprejudiced mind, you are not able to learn about, gain insight into, fully understand or fully comprehend all aspects of an addiction disease – at all.
I have, since I left this program, watched and listened to a great number of other alcoholics, drug addicts and combined addicts share their life’s experiences with others, and what changes the six week “life-style-changing” treatment program has made on them personally, their values, their beliefs and the new-born hope and faith they have obtained for The New Life that lies ahead.
As with everything else in life, some with more realism, truthfulness, sincerity and trustworthiness than others…
Side note: It’s all in the mirror – remember?!
They have – like me, been provided with the right and proper tools to make the right choices in life.
How we choose to use these tools, are entirely up to us…
Even though I have learned a lot from watching and listening to this variety of addicts, the one person that – still to this day, have given me (being addicted to alcohol) the very most, and that reflected in my mirror in the strongest, hardest and most equal way, was a person that was addicted to gambling!
Think THROUGH THAT for a few moments…
I donʼt normally give book recommendations, but I will make one important exception:
“The Big Book” (Alcoholics Anonymous)
AAʼs entire organization is built upon the visionary steps and principles of this great book. And multiple anonymous addiction disease groupings have grown – and spread out, from this root over the years.
AA’s twelve step program is – in its core essence, a “Life-Style-Changing”-program. It’s “An Easy Program” for “Complicated Human Beings”!
It’s a book written almost 100 years ago, but it could just as well have been written today, and be valid for the next one hundred years to come.
There are three ways to read this book.
Which way you choose to read it, is entirely up to you.
I share this book with you with a sincere hope for a bigger insight in – and a better understanding of, the addiction disease and for freedom from co-addiction-dependency throughout a biggest possible joy of Life and fully self-experienced peace of mind.
An upmost friendly advice:
If you haven’t had enough (addiction disease) “beating”, and – if you are the one and only GOD in your own life – it’s not recommended reading…
You always have a choice;
To do this – or that… Follow this path – or that… Live – or die…
Lack of knowledge, pure ignorance and plain stupidity may kill you – or someone you love and/or care much about…
It’s not a game. It’s deadly serious.
What’s your choice?!
- or should I dare say “excuse”…?!
“The Viking”
*Please submit your anonymous stories here for the purpose of helping those addicted to drugs and alcohol or those who love them.
Don't go over the edge!
In August of 1995 I had literally come to the end of the road. I was sitting on a rock out on Montauk Point LI NY staring out into the darkness at the Atlantic Ocean.
My life seemed pointless, I felt worthless as a parent, friend and in every aspect of my life. Drugs including alcohol were no longer giving me any relief from the emptiness and worthlessness that I felt inside. I no longer could pretend to myself or others that I was OK. I could no longer function in society and my life was unmanageable in every area. I wanted to die and as I sat out there in the dark all I wanted to do was summon up the courage to jump out into the ocean and end my life. I cried , I screamed out to the god I no longer believed in to help me jump.
I was out of money. I had no real friends. My ex-wife and 2 children had lost all respect for me, the engine in my car was shot, and I could no longer function at work. I was way beyond hopelessness ,deeply disturbed, despairing of the mess I had created in my active addiction. And I didn’t realize that I had a choice. Death seemed to be the only alternative.
A few hours passed by and I still didn’t jump. The sky was beginning to lighten up in the east and either I didn’t have the guts to end my life or a higher power was looking out for me. The first rays of the sun beaned across the ocean and hit me directly in the eyes, an unexpected sense of calmness came over me. I realized that I wasn’t going to die on this day and I needed help. I no longer could keep drinking and drugging , perhaps I wasn’t as useless and alone as i felt. I had a small glimpse of hope.
I got back into the borrowed car that I was driving and returned it to my using buddy. She took one look at me and told me that we were going to a meeting. She was going to stop using again and I should go with her. I don’t remember too much about the meeting except it was a basement room filled with addicts who shared about what was going on in their lives.
I heard people sharing about losing jobs, lovers, their friends to the disease of addiction and some from AIDS. And everyone that shared ended by saying ” and I didn’t find it necessary to use today”. Wow what a concept! Could I really change, was I no longer alone? (to be continued)
- anonymous submission by ‘Rob’.
To All: Please submit your thoughts, ideas and / or stories about drug and alcohol addiction / abuse here.