My partner was 13yrs younger than myself when we began our relationship, when she was 43. She was a highly qualified Psychiatric Nurse, in a secure job and very well paid.

We decided to buy a small house on a large lot together and ‘flip’ it in 12-15 months to a developer after I had obtained the permits. As she was younger than I, we took the mortgage out in her name.

We did this for speed of application, as we wished to pursue our ‘plans’ as quickly as possible. After all , we were only going to be living there a relatively short time.

Within 9-months of moving in she became ill with clinical depression and was placed on anti-depressives, which as time went on became increasingly stronger. She then began to drink alcohol in secret and her resulting behavior patterns started to create all sorts of problems in our previously fantastic relationship.

I had to suspend applying for the Planning permits because it became apparent that her health was not going to be able to deal with any move from, or sale of, our property. As the years rolled on she became worse, she left her job on sick-leave. I started to care for her on an almost 24/7 basis, which nearly destroyed my own working life.

She was still taking anti-depressants , sleeping tablets, tranquillizers and having clandestine alcohol binges at fairly regular intervals. I tried to stop her drinking, she promised to stop drinking but the binges still occurred until they were at just 10 day intervals.

We used a few Librium based detox programs but after each one she went back to alcohol abuse within a short time. She had started collapsing in the street whilst out walking and was admitted to A&E by paramedics-medics as a result many times.

Then, one evening, as it became apparent that she’d begun another binge, she suddenly collapsed at home. She died three days later in Intensive Care of a cerebral aneurysm (stroke) aged just 49.

I immediately realized she had not made a will, but did not know that owing to her condition she had omitted to renew the ‘death’ cover on the mortgage insurance for our home, Or complete the nomination for myself under her own death insurance. As a result,at age 61 I lost everything.

I loved her very much, and she loved me perhaps even more, but in the face of the terrible combination of alcohol and prescribed drugs our once wonderful lives, with a great future, were plunged into a tragic conclusion that I never expected, or had any warning of.

If you are the partner/relative of anyone who is suffering a similar condition, always make sure that your own position within your relationship, as to important matters of finance and legalities is taken care of. Only in that way can you can face up to their difficult day-to-day existence and perhaps unexpected developments, with some element of security and safeguard. Don’t end up like myself.

- All-Alone